"The first place is... Hickory Elementary school!" Everybody cheered, and I was on the stage with my teammates, we won the first place! We raced with other schools in Torrance, and for fourth grade girls 400meter relay race, we got a 1st place!!"No,no.no! That's not how you do it!" I was passing a baton to my partner for a million times. I was so tired, and the time was going so slowly. Finally, the break time came. I drank a lot of water, and I was really sorry for my partner.
The days past,but I was still the worst one in the track team. I practiced a lot more,and finally, I became the best one in my school! I could not stop smiling, and I felt like I became as light as a feather and flying in the air!
Some more days passed, and the Race Day had come. We all got our school's track team T-shirt, and off we went! We went to the track field! The day was really hot that you could not even step on the grass with barefeet.
It was me and my teammates' turn to run. I was so nervous that I really wanted to go to restroom. The first runner ran and she was in 5th place. She slipped the baton into the second teammate's hand. she was running toward me!! I was so nervous and she was giving baton to me and... I got it! I ran, and I passed the baton to the fourth runner. We got in 1st place!!*^^*When I was running, I forgot all the hard times I had. I was just happy that we were happy that we were in first place. I realized that even though you have a long, hard time, when you get in a best place and time, it is happier than, and it feels longer than the time when you had a hard times doing something.
Anna,
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I loved your introduction. Overall, you were able to recreate your experience using vivid description. Your second and third paragraphs, though, were a bit confusing at times because in the 2nd paragraph you talked about your teammate who was having a hard time and in the 3rd paragraph you talked about your own hardships. If you intended to make a connection between these stories, it would have made it clearer.